When you’re life is in a storm; it is true that only a few people really care about what you-the rest are just curious. Sadly, I have had to learn this lesson the hard way multiple times-the curious ones just want to know so they can talk about you to others. At times I have tried my best to be there for friends who were going through rough patches in their lives, yet it seems as I face my own rough patches they are not there to be that support and friend to me. My life has been full of struggles and yes, I have over come many things but there are giants that live within me that can overtake my life and make that friend that has multiple rough patches. Lately, I have tried to explain some struggles and those who I thought understood me the most told me I was just making excuses-they don’t understand the science behind what makes me tick. I try my best not to make excuses for my problems, there truly is a science behind it and I wonder at times why I have to struggle with it.
My training session was great today because lifting heavy weights and gaining that confidence from increased weights makes me feel amazing about myself for that quick hour. The last few sessions I have been able to share and open up with my coach about the struggles emotionally that I faced all my life and are bogging me down now. There aren’t a lot of people that I feel I can be that honest with but it helps me to hold on just a little bit less and really get to the heart of the training session; working towards goals and building a stronger-better me.
My sleeping pattern has really been effected lately, I don’t really need as many hours and yet I still manage to get through the days without really feeling tired. There are only so many shows I can watch and get all caught up on the past seasons, so I have been reading articles on the Crossfit Journal. It is amazing to me to read and watch some videos about athletes who have some of the same struggles that I do and how this amazing sports helps them overcome their trials. As the sport is addicting, so is reading about all the amazing stories. Some of my favorites are “Fight or Flight”, “Changing the Pattern” and many more amazing stories-137 of them actually. Seeing and reading about other amazing people who have defeated obstacles or ones who have to fight daily give me a glimmer of hope that I too can continue this fight. The last few weeks I have felt like I am barely holding on and at times I have caused pain to help myself cope with the pain and emptiness that I am feeling. Reading about how other people fight for their challenges and use Crossfit to help give me encouragement to dig down deep and find a piece of something that will give me strength to keep fighting.Training 11/15 Coach session
A: Front Squat tempo 20×1 5, 3, 1
B: Squat cleans +3 burpees x6
10 Shoulder to overhead 65#s
10 anchored sit ups
Recap: I don’t have the weigh for the front squats, I didn’t write it down, probably about 125#s. For B; the SC were TNG. I am proud to say I can do a regular burpee-jumping back with both feet and forward with both. They are so much more exhausting this way, but they aren’t as painful either. They are still not my favorite movement, but I am hating them a little less. The last few days were not super great days which caused me to be out of steam by the last part. I didn’t want to not do it though, so I just tried to find a pace that worked and was able to push through.
Training 11/18 Coach Session
A: Push Press Cluster 2.2.2 x3 @80% of 1RM rest 90 seconds b/t rounds of 6
B: Split Jerk 1RM build in 5 minutes
C1: Dead Lift TNG, @155#s
C2: Step ups x8 alternating legs
C3: Russian KBS @ 1.5 POOD
x3, 90 second rest b/t rounds
Recap: A: 80% for me was 80#s, they really got heavy towards the last set of the clusters. I had to push hard and one I actually didn’t lift and it fell to the ground. For the final “2” on the cluster I was only able to do 1. B: It was nice to do these with my coach, because I had some movement issues with them in class-found myself a little forward and dropping the weight. I was able to build to 95#s successfully. I did try 100#s, but wasn’t able to get it up overhead. The last chunk was sort of fun. I made friends with the 1.5 POOD for the Russian KBS and it wasn’t so bad for the first time. I have a tendency not to push myself when it comes to lifting heavier weights, but when I train with my coach he pushes me where he knows I have strengths.
I encourage you to read some of those articles on the Crossfit Journal-even if you don’t have things you struggle with I think the articles will give you a new perspective on what struggles people face. Life is a journey and some of our journeys are harder than others. I am learning that sometimes it is an hour by hour and a day by day attitude that will allow me endure what is on my path.